


Confiding

by TheAverageOne11



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, First Kiss, Gay, Gay Male Character, Light Angst, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-27 11:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17160920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAverageOne11/pseuds/TheAverageOne11
Summary: Takes place right after the scene in 1x09 where Hilda finds Billy and Carl bullying Susie and reveals their darkest secrets out loud to shut them up.Billy is seemingly angry and avoids Carl, but Carl decides they could both use someone to talk to, especially Billy.





	Confiding

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda feel sorry for them. They deserved it, yeah, but Hilda overstepped. Can't really say the end justifies the means on this one. Still, I think these 2 characters are quite interesting, I'm really curious to see what happens with them next in season 2. No doubt there will be a minor time-skip. There will probably be some tension between so this probably won't be accurate at all, especially considering it's not really confirmed Billy got raped. I could honestly see their relationship taking quite a few separate directions after that, but still, I wanted to share one of my versions of what happened after that scene at the book store.  
> Don't think the CAOS fandom cares a lot about these two atm, but If this gets more attention than I expect I might make a second part.

"Crack on. Don't let the door hit you on your way out" Hilda ordered as she led Billy to the door, who somewhat roughly pushed Carl ahead.

Carl was lost, the reality of what just happened was too hard to accept. Getting outed by an unfamiliar woman, and to add salt to the wound his attraction to his best friend being exposed right in front of him. He felt uneasy, the uncertainty of what is going to happen with Billy now that they're out of the store hitting him like a storm. Carl couldn't help but wonder what happened to Billy at that summer camp, it was eating away at him, because to spite his mostly sexual crush on Billy, he'd be lying if he said he didn't matter to him. And another matter that's troubling him is how that woman even knew these things about them. Looking back at it, it was almost as if she was looking right through them.

Taking a few more steps away from the store, Carl noticed he no longer felt Billy's presence right behind him. Turning around, he finds Billy angrily walking away in the other direction. Carl couldn't afford to let him walk away, they had to talk about this, so he quickly sprinted towards him.

"Hey, Billy wait!" Just as Carl was about to grab his shoulder, Billy suddenly turned around and pushed Carl away with seemingly his full strength. The dark haired teen fell flat on the ground.

"Stay the fuck away from me fag!" Billy shouted, his face showing a mixture of emotions, anger and confusion standing outamong the rest. The blonde's eyes were shining, like he was suppressing tears. Carl didn't know what hurt him more, the fall, the harsh words or the look on his friend's face. "Don't even think about spreading what you've heard with anyone! And don't fucking follow me!" Billy ran off, leaving the other boy speechless on the ground. He couldn't believe Billy thought he was going to spread his traumatic experience like that. As Carl got up, he contemplated whether or not he should follow Billy. He did tell him not to follow him, but Billy was scared and no matter how much he tried to conceal it, his face showed his vulnerability. He stood there for a few moments, weighing his options when he heard tinkling from the bell at the door from Cerberus's bookstore. Turning around, he found Susie Putnam running towards him. When Susie saw him she suddenly stopped, looking at him cautiously, taking slow steps backwards.

"The heck are you looking at?" It wasn't really a question. Carl was just scaring Susie off. Of course he knew why Susie was staring at him, they all heard everything Hilda said. "You have it so easy. Of course everyone defends the little dyke girl, but everyone else has to take care of themselves." He didn't know where those words really came from. Surely he wasn't actually jealous of her. "You probably enjoyed that didn't you? Well if you tell anyone-"

"I'm not gonna tell anyone! I'm not like you. But at least, now you know how I feel." Susie then ran off in the opposite direction. It was a good thing she left because the older boy really had nothing to say. They were rough on Susie, and this is just their reckoning. Still, the only thing going through Carl's mind at that moment was Billy, he had to find him, because hell, if Susie wasn't going through this alone, why should they?

 

Carl tried calling Billy a couple of times, but there was no answer. He can't say he really expected him to answer, but it would have made everything a whole lot easier. He looked through the park they hung out a lot in, but couldn't see him anywhere, so he decided to just go to Billy's house, and if he wasn't there he was just gonna wait for him to come back. When he arrived at his house Carl knocked on the door, hoping Billy himself doesn't answer so he doesn't slam it in his face. However, when his mother opens the door he finds himself in an equally tough situation. He couldn't help but recall what the old lady from the bookstore said ' _and how your mother washed your mouth with detergent until you just stopped talking'._ Could she really have done something so terrible to her own son? She seemed like a nice lady, Carl just couldn't believe it. He pushed those thoughts aside however, and asked if Billy was home, trying his best to remain calm. She gave him a strange look for a moment, almost as if she was scanning his behavior, but she quickly put a fake smile up and told him to go upstairs. Yeah, she definitely is the type to wash her son's mouth with detergent after all.

As he's climbing the stairs he hears a guitar playing, probably from Billy's room. When he reached the second floor, he slowly walked towards his room. The door was opened so he could see Billy playing the guitar on his bed. When he reached his room, he leaned on the door frame, way too mesmerized by the blonde teen playing the guitar to disturb him. He was really good, Carl never knew Billy was into music. He looked so handsome like that, perfectly styled blonde hair, unbuttoned varsity jacket, guitar in his lap, so distracted in his music he didn't even notice his presence. Carl could listen to him playing the guitar for hours. However, Billy probably started feeling eyes on him because he suddenly lifted his head, making eye contact with Carl and his face immediately dropped. With one quick move he tossed the guitar on the bed and got up, as if he'd been caught commuting a crime, his ocean blue eyes becoming darker.

"What are you doing here?!" Billy was much easier to read now. Carl knew that behind that conjured anger, Billy was really just afraid, afraid of what his unspoken past would lead to now.

"You know you can't avoid me forever. Besides, I really need someone to talk to about all these things, now more than ever, and I know you do too." Carl could still see the uncertainty in his friend's face. It really hurt him that Billy didn't trust him, but still, he couldn't really blame him. This was a delicate situation they were in, and as close as they were, these kinds of discussions were a line they never crossed. In fact, they didn't really talk about each other a lot. Their friendship was mostly a popularity stunt. After all, who wants to mess with the football jocks that are always together. Being in groups like that, it made them feel safer. "Come on Billy, you know that I would never use any of what I heard to harm you, the only question here is would you?"

The only thing Billy could do in response was shake his head, slowly sitting back down on the bed afterwards, never breaking eye contact. Carl took a few slow steps towards his bed, awaiting any sign of discomfort and retaliation, but there was none. He'd seemed to have calmed down. Carl grabbed the guitar and sat on the bed next to Billy.

"Never told me you knew how to play the guitar" Carl said, trying to ease the tension before they start the serious conversation. He pulled the strings for fun, not really understanding anything about the instrument, the end result being an awful sound that made both boys cringe. "Looks like I could use work however" He joked, and it seemed to have worked because Billy chuckled.

"I could teach you" Billy offered, giving a weak smile. He definitely doesn't seem as bothered as he was when Carl first entered the room, and far better than the book store, so he'd say it was a success. Those music lessons were tempting though.

"Sadly that will have to wait" Carl said, putting the guitar behind them and turning to Billy. "This isn't easy to ask, but, It's been eating away at me you know? If you think you're ready to talk about it, I want to know what exactly happened at that summer camp." Billy's face dropped again, his expression blank. Suddenly, Carl didn't feel so confident. Maybe he should have stuck with guitar lessons.

"Doesn't matter. nobody believed me anyway." Billy stared at the floor, avoiding eye contact as much as he could.

"I believe you." Carl said softly. The other teen finally turned his head and looked at him. For a moment, his guard was down and Carl could actually see the surprise in his face, butt that didn't last long as Billy put his walls up again.

"Yeah well you're just saying that to get in my pants!" Billy said angrily as he stood up. Those words felt like a sharp knife to Carl's chest. Still, the last thing this situation needs is more anger.

"Look Billy, if you don't trust me you don't have to tell me. But I assure you I'm not here to get myself laid." Billy just starred at the darker haired boy for a moment, caught off guard, before he sat down again, looking anywhere except at his friend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just-"

"I get it. Don't worry It was stupid of me to ask, you don't have to if you're not feeling ready." Carl reassured him. The next thing he hears is Billy taking a deep breath, before he starts talking.

"When I was 11 years old, my parents sent me to a summer camp somewhere near Riverdale." Carl was surprised as Billy started talking, still refusing to look at him. He was ready to let the topic go, as much as it hurt him it appeared that Billy didn't quite trust him enough to tell him yet, but apparently he does. "There were quite a few of us there, unfortunately for me I didn't know a single one. My mother told me this would be a great opportunity to finally meet some new friends, but I never really wanted to go in the first place. I didn't really talk to anyone because I felt like I had nothing in common with any of them, so I was mostly by myself, the outcast of the group. A few kids would try to start a conversation, but being as shy as I was, I probably made it look like I wasn't interested. However it wasn't long before a group of kids who were probably 3 or 4 years older, started picking on me because they noticed I was by myself. Even when I was around others nobody really stood up for me, but it was my fault as well. I should have reported them. Still, the bullying wasn't really too bad until one night, while everyone was sleeping in their tents, three of them came into my tent and..."

Suddenly Billy clenched his fists and his hands were shaking. Carl could tell that this was the part where things get really ugly, and he was really hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was. He gently put his hand on the blonde's back, massaging it slightly. Billy finally turned his head and looked at him, giving a weak smile. He'd missed starring into those deep blue eyes, except they were tearing up just like before.

"One of them held me down, the other one took of my pants, and the third one... he went in me and bottomed out right away. The other two pulled their dicks out, like this was some cheap porno and started jacking off. Then they took turns, switching up who get to ' _fuck the_ _bitch'._ I was crying, begging them to stop, but they just didn't listen. I-I can't even go into the details..." He stuttered, shaking his hands so much his whole body started shaking. Carl was left speechless.

"Billy... my god. That's... I don't even know what to say. Those dickheads didn't just get away with that, did they? Surely someone heard something." Carl was furious. That was one word for it. Just knowing what they did made him want to vomit. He didn't even how to make it easier for him while he's telling him these things. Or is there even a way?

"I tried... I told the group leader, but when he confronted the boys they brushed it off as it was some sort of 'erotic faggot fantasy' of mine. When he told my parents they refused to take the case any further. Can you imagine, my own parents didn't even believe me. They actually bought into that fantasy crap and sent me to counseling, because ' _I had been straying from the correct path and needed to be fixed_.' And my counselor, he talked to me as if I was crazy. But I couldn't give up, I wanted them to suffer for what they did to me, so I kept trying to prove it to my parents, but eventually my mother got tired of the ' _filth I was spreading'_ and started washing my mouth with fucking detergent until eventually I gave up. Since then I promised myself I would never be alone or weak again. So I got buffed up, got on the football team, started hanging out with the cool kids in the hopes that it will remove that fucking stain in my life. I even started picking on that girl, not because I hated who she was, but because I felt so powerful while doing it. To me, she was those 3 rapists, and I was getting my revenge. It was all bullshit, all it took was that creepy old hag retelling my past and I'm back to my weak old self. Now I just realize that I became the very people I hated." Billy brushed the tears off his eyes. He wasn't crying, but if this continued even he might start shedding tears.

"Don't say that! You're nothing like those fucking rapists. And trust me they'll get what's coming to them. You know what we can find them and-"

"Hey, relax. I've gotten over it. It's just when I talk about it or remember it... I get a little emotional. If I wasn't strong I wouldn't have gotten my shit together after that, but I kept going. I'm sorry I lashed out at you back at the bookstore, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just on edge. Truth be told, I haven't been able to get the darn memory out of my head since those bitches made us make out with each other. But this helped, I never thought talking to someone who would listen would be so... good. Thank you." Carl could see that Billy was relaxing slowly, the burden of those memories leaving his chest a little bit. He was glad he could do that for him. But what happened at the tunnels with those girls, no wonder Billy was so frustrated back then. It all makes sense now. Carl couldn't help but feel guilty. While Billy was reliving that traumatic experience he was thinking about how he didn't get to make out with him.

"Shit man now I feel bad...That time at the tunnel, I was so jealous that I didn't get to make out." Billy could only laugh, to spite Carl's not thought-out attempt at an apology. But it did help ease the mood, which was quite helpful because Carl really didn't know how to behave. But judging by the way Billy rushed to change the mood, he has no doubt he wants to put this behind them, but one thing does still bother him. "Hey, so If you have so much trouble talking about this... why did you tell me? I mean... It wasn't my intention to pressure you or anything, if I came off that way" Carl felt uncomfortable bringing up this again, but if he didn't he would feel like a jerk for the next few days. But Billy didn't seem to mind, in fact he smiled.

"No you moron. I told you because I trust you." The way Billy said that so nonchalantly actually made Carl blush. He didn't even know why, it's not like it was a compliment. However, Billy probably noticed the sweet reaction because he looked at him with a smile on his face, gazing right into his eyes. Then, Billy moved his right hand to his head and brushed his hair back, leaving Carl redder than a tomato, his heart pumping way faster than it should. The next thing he knows, Billy is leaning in slowly and pressed their lips together. Carl felt butterflies. He couldn't move or kiss back, the only thing he could focus on was the hand on his cheek and his back and the soft lips moving against his own. He'd wanted this for so long, but not he can't believe it's really happening. He finally raised his hands to Billy's sides and started kissing back. He could feel Billy smile as he moved his lips against his, and it made his heart flutter. When Billy finally pulled back, smiling at him it felt way too short, even though he was barely catching his breath.

"But wait... I thought you were straight?" Carl asked, but instantly regretted ruining the mood.

"Yeah... So did I." Once again, that nonchalant answer made him flush. "What about you though? That didn't seem very lustful." Billy teased him and Carl couldn't help but smile. It's true, there was more to it now.

"What can I say, I guess you're beautiful inside and out." Billy blushed from the compliment and couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"I don't think everyone would agree with that but sure." The blonde said no more as he reconnected their lips again. He could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Any feedback you have is very welcome :)


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